Spiritual Machines
by Your-legal-drug
Summary: Alfons Heiderich and Edward's lives inside Munich, what if their feelings were confessed before anything happend in the movie? The two fight love, confusion and mostly prejudice.
1. Chapter 1: Consequence of laughing

Spiritual Machines

**Chapter 1****: **Consequence of Laughing

It was just like any other day, walking in the streets after the sun had settled. The street lights were now open, flashing from time to time because of the cold. All the houses were closed up, afraid that winter would bring them bad news. Of course, I wasn't worried too much. I had a decent job, a decent apartment. I could afford some charcoal to warm up the place. I was maybe a little poor, but still in pretty good shape for a lonesome sixteen year old.

Not that it would make a difference in a year or so. I would suppose to be right now fiancé with a beautiful girl who would do all the house cleaning and the cooking, everything that is house related, have at least five to six children with her and have a "_decent"_ job. Of course, this is all through my father's eyes, what the youngest of the five brothers is suspected to do and follow up his dreams. Unfortunately for him, I'm not a follower. I'm a leader; and I'll lead my dreams and make them come true. Even since I was young, I dreamt of what was out there, wanting to see if there was someone else out there who I would have as a friend, who would understand my complex and share it as I do and take me away in their world. Surprisingly enough, I still had little hopes for that dream, but I became an engineer to create a machine which would fly off into space, since the plane was already created and hasn't the capacities to go into space (or at least, no one tried.) It wasn't long until I finally had a group with somewhat the same interests as me and are now constructing on a plan to make a rocket. Though what really intrigues me is that this very day, passing by the train station, I would find my childhood wish, an alien.

There was a boy, sitting in the snow, I was unsure if he was frozen, dead, sleeping or simply waiting, but he seemed to have been out here for awhile. He had golden blond hair tied up in a ponytail, long front side bangs and in between, on top of his head, there was a small antenna of hair. As I approached, I could see more in detail what he was wearing and tried to make sure he wasn't frozen or dead. His chin up to his nose was buried inside his coat as he tried to make himself probably arm. His sleeves had no arms; they were probably inside the coat wrapped around his body to keep warmth. I knelt down in front of him, not wanting to disturb him... I simply lifted my warm hand to lay it upon his cold cheek, just to see if there was still life. As my finger tips touched him, his eyes opened, shocked, startled. He almost acted out like a cat that was cornered by its predator. I removed my hand and chuckled a little at his reaction, simply answering:

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you. Just making sure you were still alive. It's quite chilly tonight."

I said like anyone would say if they saw him there. That's when I noticed his golden eyes, those sharp golden eyes with fierce fire burning inside of them, a never ending flame. Just by looking by his eyes, I knew he was not of this world. That's what I wanted to believe for my childish dreams.

"… Alphonse…?"

His first word, it penetrated me. I was shocked. I didn't know what to say, what to think. The boy was on the verge of tears, replaced his arms into his sleeves, opened them and threw himself on him, wrapping them around him. I felt the warmth of the boy rise, also from the heat on my cheeks burnt like Venus' raging fumes.

"Alphonse… you've grown so much… you're so…"

The boy pulled away, a little angry as I stayed confused, frozen in place.

"… why are you so tall?! You drank so much milk that you became a giant?!"

I never met someone so tempered, so small, so… different in my life. He was an alien, no doubt about it. I tried to think where we could have met. At school? No, I would have remembered him. How would he know? Could it be his antenna helps him read minds?

"… Do we know each other?"

I asked timidly, not wanting to break his dreams or anything. That's when he froze, he looked at me for a few seconds, laughs a little and fell back on his butt.

"Of course… I'm sorry… you look just like my brother. Though, you must be much older… and you have blue eyes… blond hair…"

The boy rambled on, almost became a mutter at the last words. That's when I felt a little sorry for him. Not because he was different, but because I was mistaken for someone he longed for. It showed in his smile that he was contented to have seen a familiar face. Though, where did he come from?

"… umm. Not to be a burden… I'm sorry if I look very similar to your brother… but what are you doing out here in the cold?"

It was simply because I was worried for him, no human being just stay out in this temperature, even if he was an alien. His eyes lifted up, seeing how worried I was and maybe my face had guilt written all over it, he answered:

"I'm waiting for my father. He said he had a meeting to go to… and well, we don't have a place to stay yet, so I've been waiting here for him."

I wasn't pleased with his answer.

"… Honestly. Get up."

I practically ordered as I got up as well.

"… what?"

He asked me, a little confused of my strict ways.

"Get up."

I offered a smile and handed my hand to help him up. He took my hand, and lifted himself up. He smiled back, a little perplexed by the situation.

"What's up?"

He asked, a little nervous now.

"Follow me."

I said, without spoiling anything. I guessed he was stubborn and wouldn't have followed him if I told him the purpose. But, seeing how he was curious, he followed me. I slowed down to be by his side, and introduced myself.

"I'm Alfons Heiderich. And you are?"

His head lifted up, I noticed then he was really short (or I was giant as he said.) He smiled at me, answering:

"Edward Elric."

That's when I figured that maybe he was British, but he had no such accent. Maybe he was from the American lands. I didn't ask, at least not yet.

"How old are you, Edward?"

I asked, trying not to sound too familiar yet not too formal either.

"17."

"Really now? I'm 16."

This astonished him. He stopped, looked at me up and down.

"You're lying."

"I'm not."

"But you look in your twenties!"

I felt a little insulted from this comment. I raised my voice unintentionally.

"I don't! I look maybe a little older, but not by that much!"

He rolled his eyes, kept on walking, even if he didn't know of the direction.

"Whatever."

I sighed then catch up to him and noticed that I was near the apartment.

"We're almost there."

"You're bringing to my father's, aren't you?"

I was dumbfounded. How could I bring him to his father's if I don't even know who he is or what he possibly looks like? I shook my head.

"Take another guess."

I walked towards Gracia's flower shop, who was also the owner of the apartment building, checking if she was inside or not. Seeing that she wasn't there, I simply came in the front entrance, taking out my keys. I may have been sly up until now, but I think Edward had realized what I was up to.

"... you tricked me."

"I didn't. I knew you would have refused in the first place, but if I didn't say anything, your curiosity would have betrayed you and made you follow me."

I smiled, being as some would say a "smartass". But to my surprise, he smirked and let it go.

"Fine, fine. You win. How did you establish that theory anyways?"

He leaned against the wall as I got to my door, watching every move I would make (I could tell.)

"Well, I thought you were some kind of stray cat."

I finally unlocked the door, just to hear a loud thud behind me, as if he would have fallen. I opened the door, looking back, seeing him on the ground, I hushed him:

"… there's other people who live here you know."

I walked in, kept the door open for him, as he entered with his head down, mumbling more things. Once he found a wall, he decided to bang his head on it, for whatever reason. This angered me a little. It was just as if he ignored what I just told him. I pulled him away, placing my hands on his shoulders, turning him to face me. I glance straight into his eyes.

"What did I just say? And why would you just do that? It's idiotic!"

He seemed a little surprised by what I was saying. He just stared into my eyes, the room being silent for a moment. I don't know, but at that very moment, I felt my cheeks blush slightly, being embarrassed to have done something like that I would assume so, and I walked away into the kitchen, deciding to start dinner for both of us. I grabbed some water, placed it in a pot, waiting for it to fill.

"… you're queer."

His voice echoed in the room. I don't think he had moved from his spot, but now I could hear his footsteps approach me. It wasn't the first then I was called that, or odd, or anything. Really, I wasn't surprised if it was his first impression of me. That's when I heard a chair creak, assuming he had sat down by now. He began to laugh.

"… you care way too much. That'll become your weakness."

I didn't dare look back at him, but I simply smiled and closed my eyes. I answered:

"I know… I know."

--

I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter. I shall update as much as I can. )


	2. Chapter 2: Big Rocket

**Chapter 2**: Big Rocket

"Thank you for keeping my son in a warm area."

I had answered my door to find Edward's father in front of my door. The man has also long hair, though a darker blond with some facial hair which was weirdly design under his chin. He called himself Hoheheim. I didn't ask how he found me since he had already told me about how he found me at the table, which I served him some breakfast that I had made for myself that morning before work. I must have been looking quite tired since the man kept on asking me if I was tired. I would assume that I was yawning a lot, or sometimes not even paying attention to what he was saying from time to time. I hadn't slept much. I was a little uncomfortable to have found Edward in my room, holding unto me in the middle of the night. My theory of him being a cat-like person is growing. He was searching for warmth, no doubt. I didn't mention anything since I was a little afraid of his reaction. I rubbed my eyes and smiled at Edward's father. I feel

"No need to worry. He's fine, really. He was fed and all."

He gave me this look, this look like he was in debt of the world to me. I had a hard time to swallow the food in my mouth since I felt so guilty about it. As I did swallow, I nervously asked:

"I-is something wrong?"

I was kind of afraid of his answer but the man shook his head, smiled simply and answered:

"No, no. I'm really thankful."

The smile left quickly, he became very serious. So serious, that I was a little scared by this face. He added:

"Though, I have a favor to ask you."

"I'm listening."

I didn't dare to say I'd refuse, since that would be mean and I was curious of what this "favor" might be. He bit his lip, couldn't even look at me as the silence took over the rooms.

"… Can you keep him in for me?"

"… Keep him…?"

I was a little astonished by his offer, again… it felt like I was taking care of a cat.

"Yes, I'd like for you to keep him in your hostility. I'll send in paychecks each month to pay his food, the rent, the electricity, the phone bills, etc. Just give me the price that you pay now, and I'll cut it in half."

It seemed like a reasonable deal. Plus, I could use the company.

"Around 175 per month, so that makes 87,5 mark per month."

"Alright. Fine deal."

The man stood up, walked towards me, wanting to shake my hand. I stood up along with him, and gripped his hand firmly as he had a tight grasp of mine. As we let go, he was heading towards the door, and I wondered why he would just leave his son behind. I was unsure to ask, even if it wasn't much of my business, I think I had some kind of right to know this. So I dare ask:

"Where are you leaving off to though?"

His hand was settled on the doorknob, but he did not move. His head turned towards me, smiling.

"To find his home."

On that note, he exited the room and I sat back on my chair, knowing he was quite the father. It's not that he didn't care about him, it's just that he had too much tasks on his hand to take care of an adult. After all, Edward was almost the same age as I was. He was bound to get out of his house and start a new life one day or another.

I had time to finish my dish, to clean the dishes and to make a new breakfast before Edward would wake up. Honestly, until when he would sleep this boy? So, I decided to bring in his plate to his bed. I had made some breakfast sausages with some cut potatoes (really, it's all I eat since that's all I can afford.) and a glass of milk. As I entered the room, I noticed that he sleep in his underwear, well… trunks. I also noticed that he had a prosthetic arm and leg, I wondered if he had been in the war. I doubt, the eldest he'd be is 12, but then again he could have been a messenger. Though, I would have a hard time believing that. Maybe he was an innocent civilian who got hurt by the war? Who knew? Certainly not me.

I sat down on his bed, place his plate and glass on the night table. Then I noticed that his stomach was sticking out of the sheet covering him. I was… unimpressed. I placed the cover back on the uncovered areas and sighed. A few seconds later, he moved again, the sheet still removed from him. Slightly tempered, I place it back again.

I think we had that battle for at least 5 minutes, until he finally woke up to the aroma of the food. It was almost like his nose was dragging him towards the plate. I confirm, I'm taking care of a stray cat. The boy looked up at me, smiled sweetly, as if he would appreciate my hospitality. Here, I thought I was a great person, until I heard a sarcastic statement:

"How nice of you to bring me that disgusting white stuff which makes some GIANT… are you trying to insinuate something?"

He didn't seem too pleased; he even put an accent on the "Giant" which made me feel a little insecure about my height and also guilty because he thought I was playing a sick joke because of his miniature height. Therefore, I decided to apologize:

"I'm sorry… I didn't know you didn't like milk."

I got up, taking the milk away and before I could bring it back into the kitchen, his hand had reached my pants and pulled me down the bed quickly. Idiot. I tried to keep the milk in the glass but it spilled all over both of us. Again, I was… unimpressed. Though, the next would bring unimpressed to a new level… to disappointment. He took the sheet and wiped who? Himself. I just held the glass in the air, my face showing my complete disappointment. I sighed, got up again, but was pulled back down to my surprise. Unfortunately, I scold at him:

"What?!"

His face winced, I could tell that he felt bad. He pressed the dry parts of the cover on the places that were wet on my body. He didn't even dare look into my eyes, but he mumbled:

"… I'm sorry… I didn't want you to leave…"

That's when the guilt got the most of me. Not an enjoyable feeling, but I didn't let it take over entirely.

"It's okay… nothing we can't clean. It was just an accident."

I mentioned as I placed the glass on the night table, smiling weakly, trying to make him smile. His eyes lifted up into mine, struck again. I don't know why, but each time I would look into them, they would just give me the impression that they can see through me. I was afraid of that feeling, I was afraid that eventually, he would find out all the secrets that I didn't want anyone to know. His eyes made me feel a little uncomfortable. I didn't even notice if he had returned the smile or not.

After the little hypnotic effect of his eyes, I managed to remove my eyes from his and I remembered his father.

"Oh! You're father came here this morning!"

He didn't seem to please of this news.

"… is he still here?"

I shook my head. I added nervously, maybe a little embarrassed to tell him:

"No, he said that I would have to take care of you. But don't worry, he told me he was going to send in a paycheck every month for your part of the rent. I'm assuming he's paying for you because you are paraplegic, right?"

"Doesn't mean anything that I'm paraplegic."

He pouted, not looking at me anymore. I maybe insulted him. I tried to correct myself:

"… well, you can't really move your right arm nor your left leg, right? It's only plastic prosthetic. So, you can't really work."

This is when he decided to move his arm, showing off that he can move his prosthetic limbs like he could move his normal limbs. I was… quite impressed. I was even quite intrigue. I immediately put my hands on it.

"… how does it work? What is it made of? Can I open it up? Can I--"

"Don't pull a Winry on me."

I was stupefied, I looked up at him.

"A Winry?"

He rolled his eyes, his face was a little annoyed, it looked like he felt obliged to explain.

"She's my mechanic, she's crazy over these."

I blinked, pulled away. Though I got the message, she was probably his lover. Thus, I teased:

"You love her?"

"No!"

He immediately answered in a flustered voice. He was crazy about her. I smirked and nudged him a couple of times.

"Yeah right…"

"No, she's my brother's future girlfriend."

There, I felt stupid for teasing him. I shrugged and decided to change conversation to an obvious truth, we stank of milk.

"Well, we better go take our bath."

I got up, walked towards the bathroom, adding:

"If we don't want to smell like milk for tonight… anyhow, I'll warm the water."

I was now in the kitchen, boiling some water for our bath.

"… w-we?"

He approached me slowly. I didn't think he wouldn't be use to taking a bath with his family. I looked back at him, a little surprised by his reaction.

"Well, yes we. We are poor, we will share a lot of things from now on. Remember that."

I was sure he was going to remember from now on, and I knew I wasn't wrong about that. Boiling the water didn't take too long, I got in the bathroom and poured it inside the tub. I threw a bar of soap and began to take off my clothes. He just stood there, with a huge blush on his face, still holding his trunks near his waist. I glanced back at him and sighed:

"I'm not going to eat you or anything…"

I pouted and rolled my eyes as I stood completely naked in front of him. I must admit that I never really shown my naked body which was all grown-up to anyone before, I was blushing slightly as well. I added:

"Do you want help to take off your prosthetic?"

It was the least I could do in this situation. He shook his head.

"I just need help to get in…"

I turned around, not to look at him. I was a little more embarrassed now. I decided to soap the water while he would change and take off his trunks. I was knelt down, my upper body over the side of the tub, my hands rubbing hard on the soap and water, creating some bubbles which I hope would distract me from some thoughts in my mind, in which my curiosity would influence my discomfited feelings. That's when my eyes gave a small peak on the side, I'm not sure why and that's when I had a close-up of Edward's butt. I blushed and turned away quickly. I had look just when he was sitting on the rim of the bathtub beside me to take off his prosthetics. I tried to ignore his presence, but in vain. I had seen his butt from up close. It was round, really nicely shape for man. Usually, men who were his size (as in, skinny as him) wouldn't have anything of the sort. I stood in silence, and the more I thought about it, the more my face became a deep scarlet.

"… o-okay… I'm done…"

Edward sounded shy, it was kind of cute even if I hate to admit it. I stood up, avoiding eye contact. I was a little embarrassed that I was this red, which aggravated my situation and I felt my face enraged with heat. I wrapped my arms around his upper body, though since there was an arm missing, I didn't know exactly how to put him in. I let go and analyzed the situation, the state of body he had and how I could bring him in. Edward had tightened his legs to hide his manhood, placing his arm over it as well to hide it better. When I was looking at him, I could see that his arm was completely missing and there was a metallic area inside his arm, probably to connect the prosthetic arm unto it. As I checked his legs, I saw that he still had his thigh and that his kneecap was missing as long as the rest of the leg. The best way to put him in is if I carried him like a newlywed husband would carry his wife in the honeymoon room. I went to his right side, pressed the metallic area which was cold on my chest, wrapped my arm under his left arm and lifted up both his legs with my other arm. He was now in my arms, seemed shock to probably be carried. He was a little nervous, moving around, and looked up at me:

"How… but… you…"

He wasn't sure what to ask or state, he just calmed himself down as I settled him inside the tub. His eyes glanced at my reflection in the water, which we made indirect eye contact and I could see his lips moving, and I heard in a mutter:

"… you're really strong…"

I smiled at the comment and installed myself in the water.

"Well, I do work in rocketry. Moving those heavy metal sheets serve a purpose to my strength."

I mentionned, seeing how my long legs could be a burden, I crumpled up in my side of the bath. There was a silence. That's when he lifted his head, he saw how I was holding my legs to not be too tall and started laughing. It was a little satisfying to hear him laugh. I gave him and smiled, asking:

"What? What is it?"

He shook his head and pulled my legs, placing them on his sides and dragged me into the water, which I hadn't expect. I was now under water, still having a little breath to keep myself under, so I decided to let myself be soaked for a couple of seconds, rising the milk out of hair. That's when I felt an arm wrapped around me, his chest touching my abdominals, his manhood on mine, pulling me up. As I was dragged up the surface, I could hear more and more some screams:

"Afo…! Afons…! Alfons…!"

I gasped for air, as he looked at me like he had killed me accidentally. I smiled trying to make him feel better. That's when he held me close, pulled himself onto me to give me a hug. I felt kind of bad, I didn't mean to scare him. I placed arms around him, returning the hug, feeling his legs tightening again, his cheek on my shoulder started to emit some heat.

"… you're big."

I sighed, he was either talking about my height or my weight.

"I know, I should stop drinking milk and eating sausages…"

He shook his head, still holding me, hiding his face in my neck.

"… No… not like that… you're rocket is big…"

I didn't get it at first, but once I did, I obviously blushed as I knew he did.


	3. Chapter 3: Thief of the Night

**Chapter 3**: Thief of the Night

I had totally forgotten about work. Honestly, good thing it was a Saturday that day. I suppose it would a little break for now. As for today, it's Sunday: the day where most of the working men have off. That includes me.

It has been two months that I have been living with Edward, It had been a little awkward at the beginning, but we are beginning to know one another wonderfully. Though some things have been told and some things have been kept secret. Like now, I confirm that he is an alien. He confessed to me that he comes from another world where alchemy replaces technology, where his brother was in an armor suit with his soul transmuted onto it because they had created the ultimate taboo in alchemy, human transmutation. They tried to resurrect their dead mother, and that's how Edward lost his limbs since it was stolen by the "_Truth_". They searched for four years for a special stone named the "_Philosopher's stone_" (which I heard of before in this world) to retrieve their old bodies back. Once they got it, he had died and his brother revived him with the Philosopher's stone. That's when he decided to sacrifice his body and soul to keep his brother alive and he winded up here. Quite interesting, hard to believe, but interesting nonetheless. He should write the story of his life, I'm sure fantasy lovers would enjoy those novels. He told me too about people he encountered and the whole Alter system in our world, how some people from his world resemble people from his world, as for I resemble his brother Alphonse. Though I do resemble him, I constantly try to remind him that I am not him. Sadly, he ignores so. Now that I know more about him, I know that how different he is from what I wanted him to be. I can say I'm a little disappointed, I wish I weren't just a reflection of his brother to him and rather more a friend. Though, maybe if he knew a little more about me, he would maybe realize that I'm not his brother.

It was clock was almost striking noon, and I had a stomach grumble as I read a book silently at the table while Edward would steal my bed and room to read his own books about ancient alchemy and history of this world, trying to recap on what he lost. That's when the phone rang. Edward and I had began a competition awhile ago for when the phone rang, the first who would get it wouldn't have to do the dishes. Today was my lucky day, the phone was nearby and I could easily snatch it. I got up slowly, just to make him angry as he would run across the room. I could hear the thumping of his footsteps, running in the hallway as he had his hand stretched open even if he was at least two meters away from it. As for I, casual settled my hand on the phone, lift the receiver, being victorious. So I thought. He threw a book in my face! In my face! I obviously fell on the ground, the receiver off the phone, hanging in mid-air as I would whine in pain. He struck my nose perfectly, I rubbed it gently as he cackled in victory, grabbing the phone and answering it.

"Hello…? … Alfons…? Umm. Just the sec."

He passed me the receiver and stuck his tongue out at me. I got up, rolling my eyes of how childish he was and grabbed the phone, answering:

"This is Alfons speaking."

"Hello Alfons. How are you?"

This voice was familiar to me, a female voice. It was my mother.

"I'm pretty good, and yourself?"

"Oh, good good… well, I was wondering if you wanted to come to our Easter dinner tonight…"

That's right, I had forgotten that it was Easter today. Easter Sunday. I probably forgot because I'm much more into Darwin's evolution theory than anything else. I sighed, and answered:

"Do you honestly believe that father would let me in your household?"

There was a silence for a moment, I added:

"I apparently have to be fiancé by now."

I saw Edward looking at me weirdly, he tried to peak in the conversation for sure. Then she asked:

"Well… what about her?"

I didn't quite understand what she meant.

"Her?"

"The girl who answered the phone. Who is she?"

I had a hard time to contain my laughter. Their phone must have a terrible reception since Edward didn't speak at all like a girl.

"… the girl who answered the phone?"

I gave a glance at Edward who clicked and stumped his foot on the ground, threatening me with his fist. I shrugged and listened to what my mom would answer.

"Yeah, couldn't she pretend to be your girlfriend? Or is she your girlfriend?"

I began to blush, stuttering on my words.

"… pr-pretend to be m-my girl… friend?"

I swallowed hard, seeing that Edward stole the phone away from me, wanting to hear what my mother had to say. I tried to fight for it, but he kept on pushing me away from the phone. That's when he coughed, tried to look manly and answered in a manly horrendous voice:

"Alright. I'll be there tonight, I love you. Oh? You'll come pick me up? Great. See ya."

Then he hanged up, looking at me like he had a plan.

"… Edward…"

I whined as he grabbed my hand, smirking.

"I'm finding you a date."

"W-what? No! I mean… they'll ask how long she's been with me and someone stupid enough to meet my parents on the first date will answer: _Oh, he invited me today_."

I imitated the girl, then he glanced at me like I was stupid. He sighed.

"Do you have friends of the opposite sex then?"

"No…"

I answered shyly. Obviously not. He sighed again, except this one was deeper.

"… Well then, your problem."

He shrugged and walked away. I grabbed him by the arm, pulling him so he can face me.

"W-wait! You can't just walk away like that! You're the one who caused all of this! You repair it!"

Edward just looked at me, smiling weakly. He grabbed my hand.

"Then I'll find a solution."

He pulled away my hand, and walked to my/his room. I sighed, and decided to go cook lunch for both of us. It's the only thing I could think doing to relieve my stress.

Later on that day, in the afternoon, around 5 o'clock in the evening, I heard knocking on my door. I was nervous, it had been two years I hadn't seen my parents, my family. Nor did I have a date with me and Edward was still in his room, plotting something or just going to laugh at me when I get back tonight. I sighed and opened the door, seeing my mother at the entrance. The first thing she said:

"Oh my Alfons… you are so gorgeous… look at you in your suit…"

She walked in her small heels, wrapping her arms around my neck, pulling me down due to her small height (I think she's just as tall as Edward) and kissed both my cheeks. She lifted my shirt, replaced my collar over my tie, dusted my blazer, and combed my hair… all of this in around 15 seconds? The typical mother introduction. She wore a beautiful dress, a deep blue in which made her eyes sparkle, her long blond hair was tied into a cute bun. She looked like those summer sweethearts.

"You look great as well, mother."

I smiled at her and seem to be trying to peak over my shoulder, probably to try to find my date. I sighed and decided to tell her the truth, it was better off that way.

"… Mother, I'm afraid that I don't --"

I was cut by this cute, girly imitated voice behind me.

"Oh, they're here"

I turned around, wondering who was there, and my mother gasped excitingly. That's when I saw Edward in a dress, his golden hair loose and wearing some light make-up. Sad to say that he and my mom look almost like twins, except my mom was a little older and she had slight differences. He wore a sassy red flapper dress, a long scarf to cover his prosthetic parts, some long gloves to not make his arms look like they are too different from one another, and also some fishnets to cover his leg prosthetic. Of course, in the split second I saw him, my jaw dropped:

"Ed?!"

My mother looked at me confused.

"Ed?"

"Edna is my name. He likes to call me Ed, just to tease. Poor thing, he's not use to seeing me in such clothing."

Edward chuckled as he approached me, holding my arm. When he did that, my heart skipped a beat. I'm unsure why, but I felt warmer, not in my face, but in my body. My mother smiled at him, bowed at him, the girl way with lifting her dress.

"Good evening, Edna. I'm Frieda Heiderich, Alfons' mother."

Edward returned to smile, bowing back the girl traditional way.

"Pleasure to meet you."

It was probably the weirdest night I had ever experienced. Honestly, I never expected Edward to do that. Once my mother began to head towards the car, I leaned over and whispered:

"What are you doing…?"

"You owe me, bastard…"

He growled as he took my hand, which became very warm. I blushed slightly as he did, and we followed my mother, got inside the car where I spotted my father in the driver's seat.

"So you did get yourself a girl, it's about time you show interest in them."

He mocked me, knowing that I never really was interested in them in the first place. That it was the last thing on my mind.

"So, going to work in the mines with us now?"

My father added. This time, Edward started talking in his sweet, feminine voice.

"Oh no. Alfons is way too advanced in his rocket engineering to stop here. It won't be long until he gets sponsored for such a genuine progress in today's society. I'm sure that will bring Germany back to the top."

My father seemed shock that a girl would answer to his question in such a brilliant way, he cleared his throat and nodded.

"Well, Germany was humiliated because of that treaty of Versailles. Damn the French…"

The car stayed silent until we got to my parents' household, where a disastrous night began. Diner was quiet, but everyone was curious about _Edna_, my "_girlfriend_". They all wondered who she was, what she did, where she came from, why she dated me. It was impressive how Edward could lie with any flaws. I was also interested in his answer, it was funny.

"Why am I dating Alfons? Well, that's very simple. He's the triple '_S_'."

Edward said as he finished his second plate (Not very lady-like, but it doesn't matter.)

"… what's that?"

One of my brother's wife asked as she sipped her wine. I took my final bite, looking at him, also curious of what that was. Thus, he started numerating:

"First 'S', Sweet. Second 'S', Smart. Last 'S', Sexy."

He smirked as I choked and the woman who was drink spat wine in her napkin. I coughed, trying to make it either get out or slide down. Edward chuckled nervously, give me a glass of water which I gulp down and sighed in relief. The boys were intrigue by three '_S_', but the women were a little offended. I was quite embarrassed that he would say that, I can't believe he could have said something like that. I felt my heart pounding hard on my chest, but it must have been of when I choked. I started breathing heavily though, and I had a hard time to look at Edward for the rest of the dinner.

Afterwards, my father invited my brothers and I to go out in the bars while the women would stay for teatime. Though, _Edna_ refused to stay at the house and wanted _absolutely_ to come with me, which I declined many times because I knew what was coming for me and I didn't want him to suffer through it. Sadly, the women not knowing where we were going, insisted on the new couple to stay together, therefore Edward followed along as my brothers thought that he was '_the Triple S'_. Not much I could do in that situation, he brought upon himself.

We got to the cabaret, which is my second time I go to. I don't like to look at women dancing, probably forced to because they need the money. We entered, while women teased the drunken men. I wasn't enjoying this, so I just decided to drink the ale. Edward felt uncomfortable and stayed by me the whole time, drinking strong liquor. I told him to stop, but he didn't listen. Eventually, everything around me became dizzy. I had a hard time judging what was right and what was wrong. Edward was cuddling unto me as my father watched me closely, seeing how we were both holding one another. That's when suddenly, I received a fist in my face where I fell off the bench I was in. I didn't feel much, but I felt blood in mouth and being as dizzy as I was, I tried to find out how to get up. As I got up, I saw my father getting closer to Edward, reaching under his dress but he was way too drunk to do anything about it. So, I decided to. Not because I was jealous, just because I thought it was right. I pulled my father away, pushing off Edward, who's dressed was ripped from the chest level, who realized what was going on, his arms crossed over his chest. I turned to where my father was, and I saw a close up of his face as he charged me into the counter. He yelled:

"You fuckin' faggot…! You don't deserve a gal like that!"

I felt my back pressed against the hard counter rim, he may have been heavy, but I decided to play his strength game, frustrated by the sight of Edward frightened by this man I call my father.

"… either do you… bastard…"

I growled, I punched him in the face, tackle him on the ground, getting on top of him, and punching him until someone would stop me or until he could no longer resist. I could his grunts, and no one was stopping me. Nothing stopped, just like beating up someone was normal. I stopped. I didn't have the will to continue. I couldn't, even if I hated him, even if he had tried molesting Edward, even if I know he cheats on my mom, even if he is a fucking bastard, I couldn't. I got off him, and he didn't dare get up. I wiped my mouth, grabbed Edward's hand, walked out of the cabaret and try to find my way home. Edward held my arm tightly, and we stayed silent until we got on my street. I asked, out of concern:

"… Are you okay?"

I felt it was a little late to ask that, but I was satisfied that I could finally speak it out. Edward stopped, pulling my arm down. As unbalanced I was, I immediately was pulled down and I was now face to face with him. His golden eyes gazing into mine, his golden eyes captivating my soul, his golden eyes making fall into a deep trance… they were full of concern, his cold hands placed on his side of my cheeks, his eyes starting to water up.

"You didn't have to do that… now, you'll never be able to go to your family's place…"

His voice cracked, he had stopped talking like the girl he was pretending to be. I preferred his natural voice, it was him. I just wanted him to be himself. I shrugged.

"I don't really care… he hated me anyways because I'm different… because I decided to become something greater than he will ever be… and… I don't really know what came over me when I started to fight with him… I… I was so angry at him… for everything… for cheating… for being a jackass… but mostly because he went after you… I don't know what came over me… I'm not usually this way… I can usually suppress my anger… I really don't under--"

It was too late for me to speak, he had pressed his lips on mine. His lipstick covered lips pushing mine into a sweet, indulgent kiss. I had never kissed a man before… nor have I kissed a woman… That's why, he was the thief… the thief of the night.


	4. Chapter 4: Needles

**Chapter 4:** The Needle And The Damage Done

I couldn't sleep for nights. I had difficult resting after that event. I had too much on my mind. Really, I couldn't get him off my mind. That kiss, that night. I didn't dare to ask if he remembered, because I surely did. I had to take days off from work since I lacked of sleep. He didn't figure out why I was this way. I'm usually quiet and invent some kind of reason which everyone believes since they think I'm so honest.

I lay in bed, watching the ceiling, wondering what was going on with me. Why do I feel this way? Why am I wanting more than that simple kiss? Why do I want to make it much deeper, more passionate, holding him, feeling his body against mine while I touch every inch of his skin, untie his long, silky golden hair, bring him in my bedroom, kiss his neck, unbuttoning his shirt, pinching his pink nipples, making him moan, hearing his pants, his whispers, whispering my name… Whoa. I had stopped thinking all this. Why was I thinking all this? It's not normal. I needed to consult someone for these feelings. But who? Who was I to tell these feelings which are forbidden? Only one can forgive. I headed towards the church, even if I believe in the Darwin theory, I still had hope for heaven that God would offer me.

I walked in the streets, the weather started to become warmer since it was the beginning of May, the roads were half empty, no cars. Everyone was either working or inside their home doing spring cleaning. The church seemed so lonely, no one would go there in mid of day except for confessions. I would enter those large doors, walk down the silent hallway, install myself in the sin booth, take a deep breath and speak out:

"Father, I have sins."

In a calm voice, the man spoke:

"I will be listening and so will God."

I started breathing heavily, my palms were sweaty, my heart pounding inside my head. I didn't know what to do, what to think, what to say… I took a final breath:

"… I have lust, desire for a man. Ever since he kissed my lips, I cannot get it out of my mind. I know it's wrong, I know what I think, what I do is wrong. I was also attracted to him before the kiss, but now it just makes me so confused…"

"My son… these sins…"

"Yes, Father… I'm sorry… I wish advice…"

He paused.

"… you must get away from him… he is no good news for you… find a woman… try to love her… get married… have children… God will forgive you then…"

I found myself in a situation where I had to force myself escaping from reality, which is something my father often reminded me.

"Alright… that is what I will do. Thank you Father."

I exited the cabin, heading towards the exit as I was pulled back. The Priest looked at me, giving me a paper. He walked away, and took a look at the paper which a name and address was written on it: Magnus Hirschfeld.

I wasn't sure if it was an address to consider or not, since I felt like it was a man who I might not enjoy. I decided to go the next day, just because my curiosity told me so. Now, I had to return to Edward, tell him what was going on, the truth and what we were going to do about it. There's no way I would force myself in marriage, especially with someone else than Edward.

As I arrived in the apartment, Edward was already sitting down at the table, lifting his eyes off the ground when I arrived. His worried look disappeared into a smile as he got up and walked towards me:

"Alfons…"

This happiness to see me, I had never had this before. I wanted to have this feeling forever… somewhere I was wanted. I walked towards him, pulled him into a hug, holding him tightly as I began to cried:

"… why… why did you do this to me…?"

I could feel his body shaking, his hands hanging in the air, ready to hold me but unsure to… I gripped unto his shirt firmly. I felt my knees weakened, but I pulled away my head to look at him.

"… why did you turn me this way…?"

I wasn't sure of these feelings, this new feeling inside of me. Why I liked men, I didn't understand what it was. Was it a disease? Was it a bad cold that I eventually get rid of it? He just stared at me, unsure how to answer. His mouth open, but nothing would come out. I kept on going:

"… why do I love you…?"

That's when Edward's eyes widened. I had never seen more beautiful eyes in my life, even if they were afraid, even if they were scared, angry, sad…

"… I-I don't know… why do you love me…?"

His eyes left mine as he finally answered. I felt my heart having a hard time keeping a normal rhythm, it speeded at an immense speed, making me have a hard time to breathe.

"… because… I feel so comfortable around you… I want to be with you… I want to hold you… I want to make you feel the same way as I do… I want you to kiss me like you did that night… but even deeper, more passionate… like you want me… like you love me… …"

I paused for a moment, his eyes still towards the ground, he bit his lip like he wanted to say something, but he couldn't.

"… do you love me…?"

He raised his head, staring at me with his dreamy eyes. My lips thirst for his. His eyes began to water, running towards his room, slammed the door shut. I ran after him, tried to open the door, I felt rejected. I didn't understand why someone who would kiss me wouldn't love me… I banged on the door…

"… open up! Please!"

I weakened, falling to my knees, sobbing, sliding my hands on the door as I wish it were his hair.

"… please…"

"… you don't deserve me…"

I heard him properly, his voice cracking. He was probably crying to. I kept banging, trying to get in.

"… of course I do… I deserve every single part of you… and you deserve me… every part of me… I am yours…"

"I would be unfaithful… if I were to allow myself to love you…"

I couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth… unfaithful… what did he mean?

"… you would be unfaithful to me…?"

It took awhile for he could answer, but I waited as long as I could.

"… no, to my lover in Amestris…"

I was deceived. I was blind. Of course he thought it was normal in his world… of course, everything in his world was so simple. I was tempered, filled with jealousy:

"How… how can he be better than I am? I… I… you don't live in that world anymore Edward… you've got to move on in this one! You can't escape reality… You can't stop yourself from living because all you lived before is now gone…"

I then felt selfish, I regretted what I said, I didn't mean it. I was his choice entirely to stay loyal to however he fell in love with. I heard the door unlock, opening the door, seeing him knelt down in front of me. He crawled towards me, practically jumping on me, holding me tightly, starting to sob. I was unsure what to do, I held him. That's when I felt something weird going on my crotch level, I was unsure what it was, but I couldn't be erected, not that quickly. That's when I started to feel little fingers reaching inside my pants. I kind of freaked out, normal no? I back up, banged my head on the side of chair and felt dizzy. That's when I noticed Edward's chest was in my face and his arms wrapped around my head as he kissed the back of my head. I lifted my head up, staring into his eyes who sent a spell on me, his face approaching mine, I felt my legs shaking, his hands cupping my face, installing his kiss on my lips, and I let myself get drift away by this desire, succumbed by his sweet lips, I gave in.

As our lips met, they embraced one another, desiring, slipping my tongue inside his mouth as they both devoured, battle. We pulled away at the same time, held one another, stayed there for an hour, just holding, cuddling.

I wish that afternoon would last forever…

"I love you Edward… I want you to love me… I'll find a way to save our relationship…"

Edward buried his face inside my chest, and whispered.

"… I'd like that… and I love you too, Alfons."


	5. Chapter 5: 4 am

**Chapter 5**: 4 am

After that, Edward and I decided to sleep in the same bed every night. We didn't exactly sleep with one another yet, since I'm not even sure how that works and I guess Edward and I are taking it back. After all, sex isn't everything, right? Though when he gets too close to me, I do become sensitive down there but it's not that much of a problem, he never really notices that I'm actually erected.

I woke up very early that morning, before the dawn. I wondered why I would wake up so early, thus I tried to go back to sleep, that's when I noticed that was sleeping on my back and Edward was on top of me. I blushed slightly, usually he would be on the other side on bed, in his little corner and cuddle from time to time for warmth because I was apparently his personal heater. His hands were inside the small unbuttoned part of my shirt, placed gently on my chest. I wrapped my arms around him, moving a little, not trying to wake him up but in vain. His eyes opened a little, then closed them again. I sighed in relief in my mind. I hoped that he wouldn't realize that I was awake. I tried closing my eyes but it was impossible to. So, I kept on watching him sleep, reminded by what happened a week or two ago, that passionate kissing, tears, his hands in restricted areas… I was not impressed… with myself. I try to shift it around, not wanting Edward's leg to feel a bulge. As I did, I was betrayed by it: It twitched. Edward woke up, blinked, looked up at me, seeing that I was wide awake, yawned.

"Waa tie iz it?"

I looked over the alarm, seeing it was around three in the morning.

"… around 3."

"Hmmm…"

His hands played under my shirt, feeling every part of my chest, starting to unbutton the rest my shirt, touching my abdominal area (not that there was much abs there.) He placed a small kiss on my lips as his hands started to remove my pajama pants. I started moving back, my head hitting the wall.

"… h-hey…! W-what are you doing?"

Edward looked at me like a little innocent, naïve boy.

"… but you need to take care of this…"

Then his devilish smirk returned, I knew he was acting all that out and finally showed his true nature. I squealed as his hands were cupped around my shaft which was half-awake.

"It gets bigger when stiff."

He smirked as I blushed, looking away. I was totally unsure what he was going to do when my pants were completely off. That's when something warm and moist wrapped around it, a soft yet hard pressure lick the tip, making me unable to contain a moan, a groan… any possible noise that would make me have unnatural… well, it's kind of natural… but something that I would do if I wasn't feeling this ecstasy feeling inside that specific area, as it started to spread inside my body. I looked down at Edward, seeing he had put his mouth on it and now lifting his head up and down, sucking my shaft slowly. This, sadly, was much better than masturbation. I was a little uptight, but I decided to let him have a go at it (maybe because it felt so nice.) I really had no clue what he was doing with his tongue, but it would tease the tip, which is the most sensitive part on the dick, and make me moan louder and louder. I placed my hand on my mouth, breathing heavily. I was a little embarrassed of my possible expression and decided to not look at him, hoping he wasn't looking at me. After a few minutes, I felt it coming and I was afraid for Edward, thus I pushed his head away.

"… no!"

Edward blinked, pouted, biting my hand.

"… why not?"

"… well… I'm going to … to…"

I was so embarrassed to say it, I looked away, removing my hand from his mouth.

"Oh, okay. Thanks for the warning."

I wondered what he meant, until I felt his mouth pressure back down my shaft, picking up the pace which made it harder for me to contain, so I accidentally ejaculated into his mouth, letting out a large moan.

"… oh God…!"

I heard chuckles, Edward crawling up my body, swallowing what he had in his mouth. I stared at him like he was a freak show.

"What the hell did you swallow that for?! That… that goes in tissue!!"

He stuck his tongue at me and snuggled his face on my bare chest. That's when I felt, as his leg rested over mine, his lump. I wouldn't be surprised if all of this caused it. Thus, I felt like returning the favor, to hear him moan, to hear him plea my name for more. I grabbed his forearms, pinned him unto the bed, being now on top of him. His face flushed, his eyes were wide. He probably didn't expect it. I smiled slightly at his reaction, it was like the first time our eyes met, that little kitten. I removed his trunks, and he tried to stop me, a little embarrassed.

"H-hey… what are you doing?"

He laughed nervously, thinking this was all a sad joke. Unfortunately for him, it wasn't. I watched his shaft, wondering how I should do this. I felt a small blush warm up on my cheeks, as I lifted it and placed my mouth on it, starting to raise my head up and down. I looked up to see that our eyes met, he glanced away, laid down and placed his arm over his eyes, breathing heavily. I decided to look away, since I knew the feeling of embarrassment it was getting your dick licked and sucked by someone. I started to hear groans, which anticipated me to continue. I would start going faster, licking the tip knowing how sensitive it was. His groans became moans when I placed my hand on the part of the shaft my mouth couldn't reach and stroked it. I could hear him whisper:

"…g-general…"

I froze for a couple of seconds, but kept going afterwards. Even if I felt something tore up inside of me, like jealousy devouring me, like being used, I still wanted to pleasure Edward… because I love him. And without a warning, I received his semen inside my mouth, the taste was very weird. It tasted lightly like soap, which is something I didn't expect and a taste I was not familiar too, therefore, stupid as I was, took off my shirt and spat it inside. Way the go Alfons, way the go. I threw the shirt away, smiled at him.

"Was that satisfying, Edward?"

He still had his arm over his face, blushing slightly. I laid down beside him, he turned to me, holding me tightly, still not looking at me. Still, I thought of that General. Who was he? Was he more attractive than me? Was he better, smarter than me? He must have been if he can't forget about him. That's when I felt drops of water on my chest, they were warm and coming from Edward's face. Was he crying? Did I do something wrong?

"… Edward… what's wrong?"

I held him in my arms, concerned for his being. Was I wrong to spit it? I felt so guilty, what was I to do?

"… I'm sorry… was I suppose to swallow? … did I hurt you? … if you didn't like it… you should have to told me… I would have--"

"I'm sorry… "

I petted his hair, not understanding why he was sorry.

"… why are you sorry?"

"… because I… I called _him_ out…"

He sobbed, not even daring to look at me. It somehow hurts me more to know that he knew that he did. I shook my head.

"… it's normal… you still love him… I understand…"

I decided to not stay, seeing how I was probably dumped just there. I tried to get away, but his grip was still pulling me back.

"… don't leave… I'm sorry… you just have to give me time… I love you Alfons… I want to be with you…"

I was caught a little off guard when he said that, I wanted to cry, but I didn't want to. I held him close, rubbed his back.

"I love you too… and I'll be patient…"

It wasn't long until he was comforted and fell asleep on me, I yawned, looked at the clock. It was now 4'o clock, I still had a few hours before heading to work. I might as well enjoy it with him.


	6. Chapter 6: Under Zenith

**Chapter 6:** Under Zenith

I had finally decided to go see the man named Magnus, it was of great interest to me if I was told to go see him due to my sexual orientation. The address lead me to a large building, seeming like a research lab and I asked myself why I even bothered going there. It was probably a trick to get rid of my homosexuality, which I didn't want to get rid of. I was in love, and I would always be.

I entered the establishment, hoping that I wouldn't be killed or anything. But, nothing happened. I noticed a male secretary sitting at the front desk, and I decided to approach him. I spoke up timidly:

"… this is Dr. Magnu--"

"You have an appointment?"

He cut me, not even paying attention to me, writing down some things. I felt already a little uncomfortable.

"… N-no… but I've been told to come here…"

I placed my hand forward, offering him the paper the priest had gave me. The man rose his eyes, his expression completely changed at my sight, he smiled sweetly.

"My, my…"

His eyes trailed my body up and down, until they met mine.

"… you'll be perfect. Please, take a seat. I'll advise him of your arrival."

He stood up, not much taller than 5'7", which is average height. As he left, he kept on eying me with a tease as I took a seat, waiting patiently, confused of the situation. A couple of minutes afterwards, the man had returned, still smiling ever so kindly at me, I could even notice a small blush on his cheeks. That's when a chubby man, wearing glasses and a large mustache under his large nose appeared right before me.

"You're just what I need."

He said in a gruff voice with an inviting smile, which was quite contradictive. I smiled weakly, stood up and introduced myself by:

"I'm Alfons Heiderich. Pleasu—"

His large hand gripped mine firmly, with a large laugh.

"I'm Dr. Marcus Hirschfield! Welcome to my office. Please, follow me."

He insisted, still holding my hand, leading the way. I looked back at the secretary which gave me a little wave with his fingers, kind of what some girls would do when they loved someone. I was utterly… lost.

I entered his office, which was quite nice, nicely decorated. He had finally let go of my hand, settling me on a soft sofa as he got behind his desk and examined me with his dark brown eyes.

"… You're really beautiful… so this is what we call the perfect race."

I felt a little uncomfortable to be complimented by a man. I murmured a _thanks_.

"Oh, don't you worry. I'm not going to eat you. So what brings you here Mr. Heiderich?"

"… well, I'm here because I've been sent by some priest here. I… confessed my sins… which… concern my love for men…"

I was really unsure of his reaction on this, either I would get shot or had killed the man by a stroke.

"Wonderful. I'm assuming you are single. My secretary really finds you attractive. What do you say about him?"

He winked at me, I wasn't expecting this. I got nervous, started stuttering.

"E-euh… thank you… but no thank you… I…"

I took a deep breath, sighed:

"… I already have someone."

"A good lookin' chap like you, I wouldn't be surprised. But… I'm assuming you heard of the paragraph, no?"

He became serious after his large laugh. There was many paragraphs in the law, I shook my head. Thus he began:

"Paragraph 175, constitutes of homosexual acts between men are criminalized as bestiality."

"Oh, yes. That has been established for awhile, no?"

I knew little about the government, but I would recall knowing some laws thanks to school.

"Yes, well… we made actually a petition in 1867. Over six thousand men have signed it. Many well known novelist, democrats, even scientists have signed, I'm assuming you Einstein?"

He took off his glasses, giving me a look if I were interested or not. Hearing Einstein, I felt the need to explain how I idolize his physic theories.

"But of course. Who doesn't? I work under many of his theories being a rocket scientist myself."

He smiled at me.

"Truly in love with him, aren't you?"

"I'd die for him."

"Just like the Ancient Greek warriors. Is he younger than you are?"

I shook my head. Not that age really mattered in love.

"No, we are about the same age. He's one year older than me."

He stood up, walked beside me, putting his glasses back on his large nose, looking at me straight in the eyes.

"… you want freedom?"

"Definitively."

I answered sharply. I simply wanted to be with him, it was as if my rockets didn't matter to me anymore. I was heads over heels for Edward.

"Then come to my meetings on Friday nights, over here. Bring your partner if you like. We'll discuss of how we can help you with your freedom."

I simply nodded, stood up since I had the information I needed. I headed towards the door, placing my hand on the doorknob.

"Thank you again, Doctor."

I exited and decided to go home. It was clear that maybe they could help them in keeping their lives a secret, maybe they would all be able to make homosexuality visible to the world's eyes, that it is not a crime, that it is not bestiality. It's just as normal as heterosexual love. The only difference was that the homosexuals cannot reproduce and the heterosexuals can, and seeing how we need to reproduce, the heterosexuals, especially the church, would decline this kind and throw it aside as being useless.

All a homosexual can do in this time… is hope and hide underneath the pyramid of acceptance and freedom.

Author's note: Sorry if the chapter's lately have been sucky, I try my best to fit in history and the life one must have in that time when a homosexual.


	7. Chapter 7: Blister

**Chapter 7 :** Blister

I went to a couple of meetings alone, seeing how Edward thought it was pointless and he'd rather stay home and read his precious history books. One will never change. That night, I had left to go to the meeting, checked out by anyone possible male there was there. It was always a little awkward, but always fun to talk with it with Edward since he would agree and that would make me feel a little more attractive to his eyes. He had been avoiding spending time with me for awhile, sleeping on the couch saying I take too much space in bed, or he thinks he bothers me when he speaks in his sleep or thinks I'm tired of putting the cover over his stomach so he won't get sick.

"I really don't know what I'm doing wrong..."

I sat with a couple of men at the bar, drinking some ale to get things off my mind.

"You should get a new boyfriend then."

One of them winked at me and pats my back. I smiled weakly, resting my head on my biceps as my fingers traveled on the cold rim of my drink.

"... easier said than done... I'm sadly deeply in love with him..."

"You're the fish, he's the hook. Though the hook can't always be good for you, it could rip you apart or drag you out in the air, and you'll just end up choking."

Friedrich would say as he sipped his beer. I shrugged.

"... it doesn't matter... as long as I can love him... I'm happy..."

There was a long silence to what I said, I wondered if they were shocked by what I said or just saddened by my situation. I didn't want them to feel pity for me, I didn't want them to think that Edward was a bad boyfriend to me, I wanted them to accept my choice and my relationship no matter it flaws. But, the silence was for something else. I lifted my head, seeing they were leaving quickly, their hands raised up. I turned my head to look to what they were looking at, my chin got smashed by something metallic which sent me flying over the counter. I had a black, I couldn't see anything and didn't understand anything for a moment, that's when I felt blood inside my mouth which oddly made me wake up and able to see the bartender hiding beside me, shaking like an earthquake. All I could hear was:

"You faggots! You fuckin' faggots! How dare you create such an organisation?! We're going to kill you all!"

I felt this necessity to be as stupid as Edward would be, stand up and fight the fuckers. His influence can be good at times, but sometimes, it's best to keep down ... because I got my ass kicked hard.

As I stood up the counter, I kicked the nearest guy around me, assuming it was the man who had assaulted me from earlier, jumping down and jacking his crowbar. (Ouch... that's what he hit me with? 

No wonder it hurts that much.) I threw a few swings, I few low shots and tried to get as many people out of the bar safely as I could. It wasn't long until I finally got hit... I wouldn't call it hit, maybe more shot. I got shot in the shoulder, which was twenty times more painful than the crowbar to the chin. I'm not sure if I screamed or swore or both, but I felt it sting all in my right arm, making me unable to hold the crowbar I was wielding. I fell to the ground, holding my wound tightly as one of the guys grabbed me and pulled me out.

"You're fuckin' insane Alfons! What do you think you were doing?!"

Everything in front of me was blurry, his voice was fading out but I still had my brain running. I took off my shirt, tied it around my wound area, making sure it make it tight to stop the bleeding. I tried getting up, I'm assuming I got help. I mumbled:

"Is everyone out?"

But I'm sure it sounded something completely different, that's when I regained my vision for a minute or two, seeing the bar being burnt down, I started running as everyone did, the men standing guard in front of the bar, some noticing that I was escaping and decided to chase after me. I ran as fast as I could, which lead me to the bridge where I was cornered. I'd rather die killing myself than by someone else's hands and be caught for all of this. I wasn't a leader, simply a freedom fighter. I jumped down the bridge, feeling my guts go up, my adrenaline rush was rising as I fell through the wind, approaching that hard cold water. I had no prayers, for the ones who wanted to kill me were believers in God. It wasn't their first appearance but this was their first appearance in which they brutally attacked us. I suppose it was a warning for the mere future. Germany was not a place, nor was many places in the world not for gays. When I did hit the water, the pressure slapped my body, and it wasn't long under I had already reached the bottom. My wounded shoulder banged the end pretty hard, opening up the wound again. I decided to keep my breath, swimming under the bridge, making it seem like the water was deep. I wouldn't doubt they had already left, not really caring if I survived or not. I swam up, choking as reaching the side, leaning on the wall, coughing out the water, holding my wound. I was pretty messed up, I started seeing blurry again and it didn't take long before I just passed out.

I had finally woken up, seeing nothing changed ever since I passed out, walking towards my apartment. I would assume that I passed out for fifteen minutes or more since I was still damp. I entered the apartment, ignoring the people looking at me, walked up to my room, hearing noises inside the room. I had no strength left in me, but I would try to find a way if I needed to apply force. I turned the doorknob, seeing it was already unlocked and crept inside slowly. I could hear some groans, some insults, some pleasure. I closed the door gently, took off my shoes, walking towards my room. I opened the door, seeing Edward under a fat harry bulge of fat. Somehow, I was offended by this sight... yet. Edward pushed the man away as he fell on the ground, and emotionlessly I would look at his face just for shits and giggles. That's when I understood something. The big fat man with a moustache, he wasn't at the bar, the man whom I went to see, Dr. Magnus. That's when I would say that my anger snapped. I grabbed the man's skin with my left hand, with the strength I barely had left, lifted him up from the ground, unto the wall. I would assume that my face wasn't very pleasant, because he had shat himself. I 

didn't want to look, but I could smell it, I could smell the fear, I couldn't see very well yet, but I knew he was literally scared _shitless_. I couldn't hear anything, I could imagine his face and I knew I was yelling out things. I knew that I mentioned the meeting in which he had ran away from, for what? To screw my boyfriend? Because he wanted to get rid of me? Because he had enough of us all? I just dropped him and I think I told him to clean up his mess and I didn't dare look at Edward until I knew that the doctor was gone. I felt his warm hand on my wounded shoulder, I winced and threw his hand away. I saw him speaking, crying, approaching me. I wish I could hear him, I wish I could understand why he did this, why he wanted to do such a thing. I felt his arms wrapping around my bare waist, his warm tears leaking down my body, I kissed his forehead, holding him. I don't know why, I should be angry at him right now... but I just felt like crying, I felt like being in his arms and just cry. I didn't care if he had done that and I caught him. I don't even care if he had done it for all the while we've been together, I don't care. I don't even care if he was pretending all this time. I love him, I want him. I don't care if he kisses me and it's not real. I felt him trying to pull away from me, but my arm was too firmly stuck on him. Finally, I could start hearing again:

"... why? No... You're not supposed to be doing that... you're not supposed to love me after that... stop... hate me... hate me... I want you to hate me... because I don't deserve you... I don't deserve someone like you..."

He banged on my chest with his fists, but I couldn't feel any pain anymore. I had just enough.

"... I'll always love you..."

His golden eyes, full of tears, just looked up at me, wounded, angry, sad. Still he tried to run away from me.

"... you don't need to have a reason... you did what you did... I accept it... "

Though, I bit my lip, unable to shed a tear, I felt like my face was completely emotionless.

"... do you not love me...?"

I asked, finally having a sad tone like I wanted.

"... I do... but... I do these things... these things that hurt you... you can't love me..."

"... I know you have a good reason behind it... you're not idiotic Edward... you wouldn't sell your body without benefit behind it."

There was a silent. I believe I was right. And I knew I was right. And I knew that this was bound to happen, especially ever since he didn't want to sleep in the same bed as me, barely kissed me when I would leave, never held me, avoided eye contact. I wasn't stupid either. I knew better than to overreact on this.

"... but your reaction is wrong... shouldn't you be questioning me of why I did this?"

"I don't need to. I know it's either to go back to your world, or something about _him_."

The worst part is that... I was right again. Usually, I enjoy being right, but this is when I wish I wasn't. He didn't answer again.

"... don't you hate me...?"

"... are you trying to get rid of me...? Because you finally found a way back? Because you found him here?"

I was starting to lose my temper, even if I didn't want to. He tried to find an answer, but as much as he hated to admit it, I was right.

"... it's not... it's because..."

I was right again. I let him go since he wanted to get away so much. I stood up, opened up my drawer where I kept my money. I threw it all on the bed.

"This is all yours. You can stay here. Use the money I've earned so you can stay here until you find yourself a decent job or unless you find him. Then, sell the apartment, move in with him and he'll end up paying for you since your father won't send fuckin' shit to you. I don't know where I'll go, but it shouldn't matter to you, because you're all that matters and I just want you to be happy. That's all I want. That's all I ever asked for, Edward... I wouldn't even care if you would have just told me that you found a way to leave or that you found him."

He pulled on my left arm, pulling me into a hug closely, crying, not wanting to let go, I know so.

"... why didn't you tell me that my father wasn't paying?!"

He got a little angry, he never really liked his father, that's why I didn't want to make him even more angry since he was not paying.

"... it didn't matter to me... I swore that I would keep you."

"Then what the hell are you doing right now?"

"... what you wanted..."

I looked up at him, his golden eyes struck me again. I now hated them for loving them. He shook his head.

"... I don't even know what I want anymore..."

At least I know he didn't want me for awhile. I think I smiled weakly, I couldn't really feel my face anymore. I decided to remind him something I kept on reminding myself:

"... I love you..."

My head felt heavy, so I placed my forehead on his, that's when I felt his tears on my left hand, so I decided to reach up to wipe them away.

"... I love you too, Alfons... so much..."

This was my drug, this was what I was addicted to. Sweet lies. I didn't really care of what was the truth, I only wanted to believe the lie. I wish I was stupid so I wouldn't have to worry so much about myself like everyone else would. If I could, I'd want to be everybody's fool. I felt my face moving, I felt my shaking lips, I felt that dried tears on my cheeks, I felt warmth returning to my body. My lips approached his, and we kissed for what I wished wouldn't be the last time until I'm not a fool anymore.

"... Come with me Alfons..."

I froze. I felt like an idiot, not a fool, but an idiot. I had assumed all of this because he wanted to be with _him_, because he couldn't get over _him_. I felt my breath cut, my tears fall down, his innocent smile. I was deceived my own beliefs. I was deceived by the lies I wanted to believe when the truth was seeking my happiness all along. I held Edward tightly.

"... do they accept us there...? ... do they shot you if you're gay...?"

I was willing to give it all away, because all my wounds were healed. I was going to help him get away the best way that I can... through my rocket knowledge.


End file.
